Vote for BP.Net for the 2013 Forum of the Year! Click here for more info.

» Site Navigation

» Home
 > FAQ

» Online Users: 2,793

1 members and 2,792 guests
Most users ever online was 6,337, 01-24-2020 at 04:30 AM.

» Today's Birthdays

None

» Stats

Members: 75,031
Threads: 248,489
Posts: 2,568,439
Top Poster: JLC (31,651)
Welcome to our newest member, isismomma
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
    Join Date
    05-18-2007
    Posts
    5,063
    Thanks
    123
    Thanked 2,795 Times in 1,171 Posts
    Images: 109

    Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    It has been told, that properly delivered, the following has in fact prevented the separation of a man from his testes.

    One must NEVER claim to be the original author. He may just show up some day and that would be embarrASSing for you.

    Be vague but sincere. The following line has been rumored to have been used with success.

    "Honey, Love, etc, what ever her name is, I didn't write this but I've never read anything else that came so close to describing how I felt about you. I could never write that but I knew you'd understand. I love you (insert name)."

    It should also be given weeks if not months before one anticipates being in a situation that only great forebearence more love than you probably deserve will save you. Do it for no reason. It's ok to chuckle at her befuddlement. Make sure SHE does not SEE said chuckling. ***

    Remember, it made you think of how much she means to you. That's all. Oh, and that you didn't write it. That's important too.

    A friend of mine wrote this. I've always sort of liked it and I think it applies here too.

    You'd think after all these years, and there are more of them gone by than I care to count anymore, I'd be used to this. The sun not quite being up, that I've grown used to and even like most days. I've always liked the dark and predawn darkness, with just a hint of the shadows lessoning, outlines of the dresser and all the picture frames on top of it, memories sweet and fond in each and every one, the perfume bottles and a lifetimes worth or knick knacks just starting to gain an outline, all coming back to life with the burgeoning day. Even on a day like this one, where I know the clouds won't be breaking up, the sun won't truly break through, the rain, a light unceasing patter, will rule this place and time. The girl next to me, funny I still think of her as a girl though she's been a woman for far longer than anyone would guess, she's so beautiful that I still see her as the girl I met so long ago, still sleeping soundly, hand slightly curled on the pillow next to her head, palm up and a couple of stray strands of curly hair wrapped around her fingers, tangled there as I've seen them countless times before. Gently I reach across and unwrap them so she won't pull and wake herself up, as I have so many times that it has become almost a ritual.

    I want to enjoy these first few minutes of the day starting, just the cat and I watching, the black clouds gradually lighten and turn grey, dark and heavy and so close that it looks like they'll get caught up in the branches of the oaks or spear themselves on the pine trees that dot the hillside just beyond us. A sudden burst of rain hard and fast against the roof like a thousand squirrels chasing a thousand fallen acorns from end to end across our house, ten thousand tiny pitter patters in less than a minute and it's gone, replaced by the more somber cadence of a gentle mother cleaning her child after a day spent playing outside, a swish and hiss and slow brushing of the water on our house, rhythmically arhythmic, repeating the same sounds but never in the same order. I almost fall back asleep just looking out the big bay window, watching the clouds trudging along, heavy and thick while I'm snug and protected, feeling like a kid myself under the big blue comforter, wrapped around the girl, the woman, the best part of the morning, the best girl in the world, like I am every morning, the luckiest man that ever was, but the rain, as it always does, has captured me, snared me like a fish in a net, fully able to see his captor and totally unable to do ought but proceed as he always has, and so I lay there, watching and listening to the day come back to life once again, the gentle breathing of the girl a soothing counterpoint to the wind which has gentled now, urging softly instead of hurling madly, the rain up against the window, the drops doing the last dance of their short existences, running, sliding, slipping down the glass in ones and twos and threes, becoming little vertical rivers, branches dividing and joining over and over with neither rhyme nor reason, frantic to become only they know what, before joining with the earth once more, to begin the long wait until, once again, they can become raindrops, become part of the dance, the very rhythm, the breath of life itself.

    But sleep is not to return, as it often promises to but never does, and neither of us, not sleep nor myself, are surprised or disappointed that our long standing relationship has fulfilled itself one more time. The girl next to me, curls more disarrayed than before, hand now under her cheek, stretches long and luxuriously, straightens out her slender form, still glued to mine as it has been all these many many mornings we've woken side by side, takes a deep breath and without ever opening her eyes snuggles back against me, curling her legs up and wiggling her bottom up against me, pulling my arm back around her waist, its normal resting place, holding both her and the well-worn and faded blue flannel shirt she's used as a nightgown so long, and sighs deep and contented that all is well in her world, knowing full well that I'll be there, watching the raindrops dance and listening to the wind through the branches and boughs outside singing to us here in our wamth and comfort, knowing that there is no where else in the world that I would rather be than right here right now gently curled about the girl, the woman I've woken next to so many times before in such blissful happiness that there really could be no other way to begin any day other than this.

    The chimes gong in the wind, reminding me of the church bells heard long ago in childhood, soothing and smooth, deeply sonorous, felt as much as heard and contributing to the feeling of rightness with the world. The sights, the sounds, the gentle breathing of the girl next to me, how could one man be so lucky? It's a question I often ask, but only to myself, never out loud. No one could possibly have an answer for that and I don't really want one. It is and that's good enough for me. It has been all these long years and there is no reason for that to change. No reason at all. The rain agrees and continues its gentle downpour. The wind agrees and continues its gentle blowing through bough and branch, its gentle touch singing in the voice of the chimes hung round the house. All is well, here snug under the big blue comforter with the slender curly haired girl sleeping so gently in my arms, all is well.

    Don't you wish it was raining?
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to wilomn For This Useful Post:

    Pandora (12-13-2008)

  3. #2
    BPnet Veteran AndrewGeibel's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-02-2007
    Location
    Bartlesville, Oklahoma
    Posts
    972
    Thanks
    70
    Thanked 98 Times in 78 Posts

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    Some people just have a way with words. That was amazing. It gave me chills.
    0.1.0 RTB (Kona)
    0.1.0 RTB Anery 66% PH Albino
    1.0.0 RTB Hypo Het Anery 50% PH Albino
    1.0.0 BP (King Julian)
    0.1.0 BRB (Tiki)

    Andrew Geibel

  4. #3
    BPnet Veteran Mindibun's Avatar
    Join Date
    05-03-2007
    Posts
    1,604
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 88 Times in 71 Posts

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    Actually, I thought it was ridiculous. If my guy told me that reminded him of me or us or ... whatever... I'd just raise an eyebrow at him and ask, "You've got to be joking, right?"

  5. #4
    BPnet Veteran Melicious's Avatar
    Join Date
    03-29-2006
    Location
    Fairfax, Virginia; Originally from San Antonio, Texas.
    Posts
    2,135
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 236 Times in 207 Posts
    Images: 12

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    Quote Originally Posted by Mindibun View Post
    Actually, I thought it was ridiculous. If my guy told me that reminded him of me or us or ... whatever... I'd just raise an eyebrow at him and ask, "You've got to be joking, right?"
    I'm not alone then? Oh thank Goddess.
    Melanie Ryan Seals

    2.2 Royal Pythons; Hadrian(het. albino), Lucius(het. hypo), Ophelia(normal) and Regan(het. albino).
    1.0 Homo sapien boyfriendidus; Nick AKA Daddy.s




  6. #5
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
    Join Date
    05-18-2007
    Posts
    5,063
    Thanks
    123
    Thanked 2,795 Times in 1,171 Posts
    Images: 109

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    Quote Originally Posted by Mindibun View Post
    Actually, I thought it was ridiculous. If my guy told me that reminded him of me or us or ... whatever... I'd just raise an eyebrow at him and ask, "You've got to be joking, right?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Melicious View Post
    I'm not alone then? Oh thank Goddess.
    It is my truest wish that actual romance enter each of your lives before you're too old and bitter to appreciate it.
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

  7. #6
    BPnet Veteran fergie's Avatar
    Join Date
    03-30-2006
    Location
    northern ireland
    Posts
    744
    Thanks
    57
    Thanked 73 Times in 46 Posts
    Images: 6

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    Bit drawn out but not a bad wee yarn. If I were to come off with that to my wife or any Irish woman, you would get nothing but a disparaging look and asked what you were up too or what you had done Plus it's been raining here for 48 hrs now, so no I don't wish it was raining. Quite the opposite really
    0.1 Albino Cali King, Gertrude
    0.1 Mexican Black King, Gladys
    0.0.1 Bairds Rat Snake
    1.1 Lavender corns
    1.0 Huachuca Mountain King (L.p. Woodini)
    The wee man, Oscar, Border Collie

  8. #7
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
    Join Date
    05-18-2007
    Posts
    5,063
    Thanks
    123
    Thanked 2,795 Times in 1,171 Posts
    Images: 109

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    Quote Originally Posted by fergie View Post
    Bit drawn out but not a bad wee yarn. If I were to come off with that to my wife or any Irish woman, you would get nothing but a disparaging look and asked what you were up too or what you had done Plus it's been raining here for 48 hrs now, so no I don't wish it was raining. Quite the opposite really
    My understanding was, and I'm Irish myself, that a true Irish woman simply couldn't understand that many words all strung together at one time.

    The Irish version would go more like this:

    It's raining again.
    I'm next to her again.
    The pigeons are crapping on the bed again.
    The wind is blowing the rain through the paneless window again.
    The dog peed on the blanket again.
    But every time I wake I thank those who listen for the Pub on the corner, for not only do the beer wenches there make my wife here look like The Grand Prize from the County Faire, I can also get falling down drunk three steps from my own home.

    Now, just in case some over sensitive sissynancy takes offense here, IT'S IN JEST.
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

  9. #8
    BPnet Veteran STORMS's Avatar
    Join Date
    04-21-2008
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    2,215
    Thanks
    532
    Thanked 216 Times in 197 Posts
    Images: 3

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    I guess I just don't have the best attention span...I couldn't read it all the way through

    *Yawn*

    I can't blame it on being Irish...but German maybe

  10. #9
    BPnet Veteran Melicious's Avatar
    Join Date
    03-29-2006
    Location
    Fairfax, Virginia; Originally from San Antonio, Texas.
    Posts
    2,135
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 236 Times in 207 Posts
    Images: 12

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    I'm English, Irish, and German. I got it. I just don't think it was that well-written. As far as Romance is concerned? -Smiles contently.- I think my signature says it all.
    Melanie Ryan Seals

    2.2 Royal Pythons; Hadrian(het. albino), Lucius(het. hypo), Ophelia(normal) and Regan(het. albino).
    1.0 Homo sapien boyfriendidus; Nick AKA Daddy.s




  11. #10
    Registered User
    Join Date
    05-12-2006
    Posts
    54
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 17 Times in 13 Posts

    Re: Guys Get Out of Jail Free Card

    My very first question would be........
    WHAT did you do that you think I'm about to find out about?

    But then~ Scott and I have that kind of loving romantic relationship where our anniversary tradition is:

    every year for 19 years now on our anniversary I sit up in the bed~ look at him like I've never seen him before and tell him "I don't like you enough to live with this long"

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.1