cheating

[melodyb1985]

do u believe once a cheater always a cheater? if your spouse cheated on you...would you give them another chance in the future? i ask because friday night i found out my fiance cheated on me...and he has been begging for me to forgive him, and told me he didnt know how much he realy loved me and wanted me till i packed my stuff up and left...and that he realizes he has treated me like crap for a while now and he would do anything to change...i told him i dont know what to do..i told him he had to tell his "friends" that talked him into cheating on me and the sister of his friend that he cheated on me with to not come around no more, and that he wanted me and she was a mistake..he did it face to face with all 3 of them....and he changed his number so they couldnt call..but im still not sure if i should walk away from him forever..or be his friend and see if he changess....there are three parts of me ....one says forgive him and he regrets it..i know thats the stupid part of me and i wont do it...the 2nd is walk away and never look back...but even after this i still love him..but the 3rd is give him a chance to prove himself and be his friend...and see what happens with the friendship in a year or so....everyone i asked tells me to walk away and find someone better..but none of them are in stable relationships or have ever been in a stable relationship..and are family so they are going to tell me to leave cause he hurt me..sorry for the ramble..im confused..please i need advice..not hate..i would post on my mommy forum but there all females...and i think a males point of view is just as important

[rabernet]

I think option 3 is your best option right now. He has to EARN your trust back with consistent behavior. You may also see if he's willing to go through couples counseling with you. He needs to acknowledge that his actions hurt you deeply and he needs to own those actions.

And this is from a woman's point of view.

Sent from my ADR6400L using Tapatalk 2

[Mike41793]

If he truly loved you, then why did he cheat on you in the first place?

I tend to hold a "colder" view than most people but i would dump his cheating ass.

[KTyne]

I don't know your Fiance so I don't know what kind of person he is but I would go with option 3 too. I agree that he needs to EARN your trust back. It doesn't sound like it took much convincing for him to cheat on you so he might have been thinking about doing it on his own anyways without peer pressure from his friends.
I've been cheated on and was told that it was a lie (was told by my ex's friends that he had) and I believed him. Well turns out he had and I wish I hadn't taken him back.

This is coming from a woman's point of view as well. I have been with my Fiance for 4 years and we have a son together and have never had any issues.

Good luck! You are the only one that know whether he will be a repeat offender. Listen to your mind and not your heart girl!

[DooLittle]

I have been married for 12 years, and trust is of the utmost importance. I trust my husband 100%, we both believe that is the worst betrayal. Once that has been broken, I don't see how it could ever be the same. IMO, if you are at the point where you could do that (cheat) you are not happy in your relationship. And if you aren't happy, you should just get out before you hurt the other half. You, deserve better than that. There is somebody out there for everybody, someone who will treat you with respect and not hurt you. If he was able to do it once, what's to stop him from doing it again? I don't think I could get over that, personally. It would always be in the back of my mind. But I am not the kind of person to put up with that, so, that's just me. IMO, you deserve to be treated better than that. Good luck in whatever you do.

Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk 2

[chet1028]

If he truly loved you, then why did he cheat on you in the first place?

I tend to hold a "colder" view than most people but i would dump his cheating ass.

I agree with Mike. Cheating is the one deal breaker for me. There is no excuse for it. None. And one he cheats the first time, the next time is easy. You deserve better.

[Skittles1101]

It's always easier said than done, but are you really willing to spend the rest of your life with this man knowing that he's not only capable of doing this to you, but actually HAS done this to you? I don't know if I was already married I may consider the whole "earning the trust back" crap, but you're not even married yet and he did this. Red flag my dear, I'm sorry this happened to you

[SlitherinSisters]

Hmm, it's a hard one for sure. I lean more towards once a cheater always a cheater, at least in the beginning. Have you guys been together very long? I can understand being with someone for many years and making a mistake because you don't know if you made the right choice, midlife crisis, whatever people give for an excuse. If you were married and had been together for many years then I would say try work it out, no sense in throwing away something that could potentially be fixed. Of course there are different situations I would say forget it even if you were married for decades. Since you aren't married yet and I don't know if you have been together for years, I say be very cautious. If he can't make it through a year or two, how can he make it through 40-50+ years?

[Skittles1101]

I'm sorry but having a physical or emotional relationship with anyone other than the person your supposedly committed to is never a mistake. Often, people have plenty of chance to NOT do that action before it actually happens. It's not a mistake, the mistake to them is getting caught.

[.G&S Royal pythons.]

Walk away